There is something about June that encourages us to spend more time with other people.
Longer evenings. Family barbecues. Weddings. Holidays. Community events. Coffee in the garden instead of inside.
For many people, this feels welcome.
For others, it can quietly highlight something that has been difficult for a long time.
Loneliness.
Not simply being alone, but feeling unseen, misunderstood or disconnected, even when surrounded by people.
As an Interpersonal Psychotherapist (IPT), I often remind clients that human beings are wired for connection. We do not just need food, sleep and exercise to stay well…we also need relationships that help us feel safe, understood and valued.
When those relationships are under strain, our emotional wellbeing often suffers too.
It is Possible to Feel Lonely in a Room Full of People
Loneliness is not measured by the number of people around us.
Some people have busy family lives, partners, and friends, yet still feel isolated.
Others live alone but feel deeply connected to those around them.
The difference is not quantity.
It is quality.
Feeling listened to.
Feeling accepted.
Feeling able to be yourself.
These are the relationships that protect our mental health.
Relationships Affect Mood More Than We Often Realise
When we are feeling low, anxious, or overwhelmed, it’s easy to believe there’s something wrong within us.
But IPT encourages us to ask another question:
“What has been happening in your relationships?”
Perhaps you have experienced:
- A friendship that is drifted apart.
- Ongoing conflict at home.
- Feeling unsupported by people you expected to be there.
- Becoming a parent, carer or partner and struggling with the changes.
- Losing someone important.
- Feeling like you do not quite belong.
These experiences affect our mood because relationships matter.
Sometimes far more than we realise.
When We Feel Disconnected, We Often Change Our Behaviour
Many people notice they begin to withdraw.
They stop replying to messages.
Cancel plans.
Keep their worries to themselves.
Others cope in different ways.
They comfort eat.
Lose their appetite.
Throw themselves into work.
Become overly busy.
None of these responses mean you are failing.
Often, they’re understandable attempts to cope with emotional pain.
The difficulty is that these coping strategies can sometimes increase the very loneliness we are trying to escape.
Connection Doesn’t Mean Having Lots of Friends
One of the biggest misconceptions I hear is:
“I just need more friends.”
Sometimes that is true.
But often what people are longing for is something much deeper.
One or two relationships where they can feel accepted.
Someone they do not have to pretend with.
Someone who asks, “How are you really?”
Meaningful connection is not about popularity.
It is about belonging.
Small Conversations Can Make a Big Difference
We sometimes imagine that improving relationships requires dramatic changes.
Often it begins much more quietly.
Sending the message, you’ve been putting off.
Accepting an invitation.
Telling someone how you are really feeling.
Asking for help.
Listening without trying to fix everything.
Small moments of connection build trust over time.
And trust builds stronger relationships.
This Is Why IPT Focuses on Relationships
Interpersonal Psychotherapy is not about analysing every detail of your childhood or giving endless advice.
It is about understanding how your current relationships affect your emotional wellbeing.
Together we explore what is happening now.
We identify where you feel stuck.
We look at patterns that may be keeping you isolated or overwhelmed.
And we work towards helping you feel more connected to the important people in your life and, just as importantly, to yourself.
A Gentle Thought for June
As summer begins, there can be pressure to be sociable, happy, and making the most of every opportunity.
But perhaps June could be about something simpler.
Not asking yourself,
“How many people did I spend time with?”
Instead asking,
“Did I feel connected?”
Because genuine connection is one of the strongest foundations for emotional wellbeing.
And if that feels difficult right now, you do not have to figure it out on your own.
Sometimes the most important relationship you will build this year is the one that helps you understand yourself a little better.
If you would like to explore how your relationships may be affecting your mood, I am here to support you. Whether you are experiencing depression, relationship difficulties, grief, or struggling with binge eating, Interpersonal Psychotherapy offers a compassionate approach that can help you navigate a way forward. You can contact me on 01470 517214 or email janetyalormadeipt@gmail.com